A Short Backstory Part I – Robyn


If you are considering starting Pilates or a mindful movement practice, please read this.

I wasn’t always able to do this. Get upside down. I didn’t have the strength to climb the silks and I didn’t have the courage to hang by my feet.

But now I can.

I haven’t always practiced Pilates. I haven’t always been a teacher of movement. I haven’t always been the me you see in front of you.

But now I am.

I know that when I tell you that, you look you at me askance and think, who is she trying to fool. The truth is I was where you were. I was new to movement. I was new to Pilates. I was new to my body.

It’s taken me 10 years to get to this point. It has been a process, a transformation. Of understanding, believing and trusting. There have been many tears along the way. Of frustration, fear, disappointment. But also, of joy, happiness and ‘Eventually!’  Beginning to be in the body is not an easy task, because we have to feel things we may not neccessarily want to. We have to own our thoughts.  We have to trust ourselves and learn to listen to the nuances of the song our body is singing. We need to decipher between the pain of growing and the pain that requires rest. We need to realize that building up muscle strength will take time, commitment and courage. And we need to know and trust that the body (and brain) will pass through the discomfort of change and emerge into an ease that feels familiar because the body has an inherent ability to move. We were born knowing how.

And then we grew up.

What was normal when we were little was suddenly not. Handstands, cartwheels? No, we were too old for that. But that is only in our minds. Our bodies are as young as we allow them to be. Granted with age there are discrepancies within the healing time frame. We don’t bounce back as quickly as we did when we were twenty but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. But it also brings us back to listening. What does your body need, what movement does it require. Would I recommend you doing a handstand in your 50s when you haven’t done one since you were 5 and been sitting for most of your life? No. But I would say, start with start with opening the heart, mobilizing the spine, gently moving to remind the body what it knows. And build up from there. You may surprise yourself.  With regular practice, your body remembers how.

When I was little I did modern dancing and loved it. When I hit high school, I stopped.  As much as our  school insisted we did a summer and winter sport, I may have signed up, but due to dismal skills or desire to be there, I was never on the playing field. The hiking club was the one club I joined, enjoyed and have never outgrown the joy a mountain walk brings.

In my late teens and early twenties, I was a waitress for various restaurants, then barista for a well known coffee shop – Seattle Coffee Company in Cape Town, and Starbucks in the UK and for most of my twenties, I floated between these countries and coffee shops, facilitating my traveling by doing Care Work in the Uk. I had no real idea about what to do with my life.

Change occurred when I decided to study to become a Therapeutic Massage Therapist. In my last year,I started running. I had a running partner and I managed to get up to 10km and I kept it up for a year. In this same year I became pregnant with my daughter. I continued to run while pregnant. 3 months along, in the waiting rooms to see the gynea, I picked up a leaflet for Pilates. And that was where my life changed for the third time. I joined a Preggy Pilates class, went three times a week right up until the day Gemma arrived and 4 weeks later, I went back. I loved it! It wasn’t easy, and it was a challenge but it was great to feel muscles working. I felt stronger, more able, I looked toned, I could plank (even with a preggy belly!) And I had fun doing it.

I loved feeling my body move, get stronger, more able. Pilates helped my shoulder pain which I had had for years. My fingers, hands and wrists got stronger allowing me to massage with ease. Pilates gave me a bum, of which I am highly proud of. I had never owned one before, flat as a pancake, I was. Pity it can’t give you boobs too 😉  Jokes aside, Pilates has given me a sense of what my body can do, it has made me braver in other areas of my life and it has transformed the way I see my body. I don’t need to be picture perfect, (what is that anyway?) It has taught me that commitment wins every time. If you don’t put in the effort, you wont get anything out. There is no quick fix.

When Gemma turned one, I decided to take the leap to train to be a Pilates teacher. I wanted to do something that complemented the Massage Therapy and also something  more flexible so I could spend time with my daughter growing up. I did my course through Body Control Pilates UK  with Louise O Neill, who has since formed her own Pilates brand called Prime Movement. I trained and worked at different studios and then jumped into the unknown and started my own. Which you all know as Love Pilates!

And the reason why I am telling you my backstory? Is because you can move too, you can get stronger too. Your body is yours, you have only one. There will be many tears and we will be honored that you share them with us. The movement is moving you. Clearing stagnant thoughts and beliefs about yourself that you thought were cast in stone. That stone will be broken down into rubble, and you will find your fluidity within. It takes time. Commitment. Energy. Faith. Trust. There will be Fear. Tears. Anger. Hate (yes, you will hate your teacher, but you will love her after your session). We will push you past your comfort zones. We will move you. You will move and you will feel Powerful. Strong. Connected. Alive. Brave. And then you will be able to do something that you once you couldn’t.

Let those tears fall, feel the fear, it takes us one step closer to believing in ourselves. It doesn’t matter where you begin, as long as you do. Take that first step, get moving, you wont regret it. And for all our lovely clients who are moved by us every day, we thank you. We are honored that you have chosen us, we love to move you.

I leave you with Dr Seuss

 

if you commit to putting in the effort, success is virtually guaranteed.

written by Robyn